Trump's first day at the Oval Office after being elected President.��First briefing to the President by CIA, Pentagon, FBI:��Trump: We must destroy ISIS immediately. No delays.��CIA: We cannot do that, sir. We created them along with Turkey, Saudi, Qatar and others.��Trump: The Democrats created them.��CIA: We created ISIS, sir. You need them or else you would lose funding from the natural gas lobby.��Trump: Stop funding Pakistan. Let India deal with them.��CIA: We can't do that.��Trump: Why is that?��CIA: India will cut Balochistan out of Pak.��Trump: I don't care.��CIA: India will have peace in Kashmir. They will stop buying our weapons. They will become a superpower. We have to fund Pakistan to keep India busy in Kashmir.��Trump: But you have to destroy the Taliban.��CIA: Sir, we can't do that. We created the Taliban to keep Russia in check during the 80s. Now they are keeping Pakistan busy and away from their nukes.��Trump: We have to destroy terror sponsoring regimes in the Middle East. Let us start with the Saudis.��Pentagon: Sir, we can't do that. We created those regimes because we wanted their oil. We can't have democracy there, otherwise their people will get that oil - and we cannot let their people own it.��Trump: Then, let us invade Iran.��Pentagon: We cannot do that either, sir.��Trump: Why not?��CIA: We are talking to them, sir.��Trump: What? Why?��CIA: We want our stealth drone back. If we attack them, Russia will obliterate us as they did to our�buddy ISIS in Syria. Besides we need Iran to keep Israel in check.��Trump: Then let us invade Iraq again.��CIA: Sir, our friends (ISIS) are already occupying 1/3rd of Iraq.��Trump: Why not the whole of Iraq?��CIA: We need the Shi'ite gov't of Iraq to keep ISIS in check.��Trump: I am banning Muslims from entering US.��FBI: We can't do that.��Trump: Why not?��FBI: Then our own population will become fearless.��Trump: I am deporting all illegal immigrants to south of the border.��Border patrol: You can't do that, sir.��Trump: Why not?��Border patrol: If they're gone, who will build the wall?��Trump: I am banning H1B visas.��USCIS: You cannot do that.��Trump: Why?��Chief of staff: If you do so we'll have to outsource White House operations to Bangalore. Which is in India.��Trump (sweating profusely by now): What the hell should I do as President???��CIA: Enjoy the White House, sir! We will take care of the rest!!!
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